playing an arch-rival

 Video Box of Playing an arch-rival

Frequency/Intensity/Level of Concern

Emotions Triggered

 

  • Anxiety (fear of losing to this opponent in particular)

  • Anger or frustration (from past history, perceived slights, or previous losses)

  • Excitement (an extra burst of adrenaline at the challenge)

  • Resentment (if the rivalry feels personal rather than competitive)

  • Pride (the determination to prove yourself)

 

1. Awareness

The first step is naming what you’re feeling. Playing an arch-rival usually triggers an array of emotions:

Awareness means you stop and recognize: “This isn’t just another match. I feel tension in my chest, my mind is in the Simulator, racing about possible altercations and outcomes, and I’m already replaying old battles in my head.” Imperative to recognize these emotions. This is not just another match. You are out of a comfort zone. You must prepare and adjust for a different experience or emotions will hijack your focus.

2. Regulation

Once you’re aware, you need tools to steady yourself. Against a rival, it’s easy to overheat emotionally, a state of being where we rarely compete or perform at our best. How to tone it down to equilibrium.

  • Breathing routines before match, on changeovers, between points (slow the nervous system).

  • Positive self-talk to reframe rivalry pressure into opportunity for a huge win

  • Body language control — standing tall, moving with energy, even if you’re rattled inside.

  • Anchor routines like string adjustments, towel use, or a mantra before serve. Lean on them!

The key: regulation doesn’t eliminate emotions, it keeps them from running or ruining the show.

3. Perspective

Rivalries can feel like life-or-death, but perspective pulls you back to reality:

  • To the best of your ability, treat playing your arch-rival just like another match, not some referendum on your self-worth.

  • Rivals are essential for growth — they push you beyond comfort zones.

  • The rivalry won’t define your entire career, but how you handle yourself in it will define who you are. These are the hardest tests. Stay true to your values no matter what.

Perspective lets you see the arch-rival not as an enemy, but as an opportunity to apply the work you've been doing and see what you need most to keep improving.

4. Growth

Every arch-rivalry is a classroom. The growth comes when you:

  • Extract lessons from the match instead of letting your pride take over, obsessing only about the result.

  • Track emotional patterns — did you tighten up more on big points? Did you get angry when they celebrated? Always be checking your EQ in these high-stakes encounters.

  • Commit to resilience — use these challenges as benchmarks. Where am I in my growth? 

  • Deepen character — even as your arch-rival, treat your opponent with the utmost  respect. The Golden rule applies to tennis too. 

Growth transforms a heated rivalry from a burden into a catalyst. By continuously leaning into the discomfort, you will emerge a more emotionally intelligent competitor.

 FBTL Summation
Your arch-rival will always press emotional buttons — that’s the nature of rivalries. But by using the EQ model of awareness, regulation, perspective, and growth, you flip the script. Instead of being dragged down by rivalry emotions, you use them as fuel to play and compete smartly throughout.  

 

Video Box of former player cameo 

 

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