playing a bully
Video Box of Playing a Bully
Event: Playing someone who's loud energetic, in your face some, always trying to intimidate you.
Frequency/Intensity/Level of Concern
Emotions Triggered:
Emotions & Why They Arise
Emotions arise because the bully’s behavior is designed to trigger your fight-or-flight instincts. Recognizing that ahead of time helps you avoid falling into their trap.
Facing a bully naturally stirs:
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Fear (of humiliation or confrontation)
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Anger (at unfairness or disrespect)
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Anxiety (about losing control of the match)
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Doubt (questioning your ability to withstand the mind games)
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Frustration (why can't everyone compete fair and squarely)
FBTL Rule: We can not control other people's behaviors, only our reaction to them. That doesn't mean we tolerate abusive behavior. Quite the contrary. We apply every method at backing abusive people down and asserting emotional control over our environment.
Awareness
The first step is recognizing what’s happening—on the court and inside yourself. A bully thrives on intimidation, body language, and disruptive tactics meant to make you feel threatened and out of sorts. Awareness means acknowledging that pang of fear in your chest when they stare you down, the quickening of your breath when they slam a ball your way between points, or the anger rising when they mock you or your mistakes. Instead of denying these emotions, simply acknowledge them: “I feel anger. I feel anxious. This is their game plan, not mine.” By naming the emotions, you disarm them.
Regulation
Once aware, you regulate. This doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions, but managing them with intention. Slow your breathing between points. Extend your routines—play with your strings, bounce the ball deliberately, reset with affirmations. When the bully tries to speed you up, you slow down. When they try to break your rhythm, you double down on yours. You maintain body language that signals composure, even if you don’t fully feel it yet—chin up, shoulders back, eye contact on everything but them and their antics. Emotional regulation transforms the match back to tennis, not a contest of intimidation.
Perspective
Bullies win when they drag you into their emotional world. Perspective is remembering why you’re there: to compete hard while honoring your journey. A bully never gets to define your worth, only we do. Treat them like any other opponent. Often, bullies act out of insecurity—they need control, they need chaos. That reminder helps you depersonalize the situation: these are their issues, not mine. Always lead by example in the hopes the bully may follow.
Growth
Every time you face a bully and manage the adversity, you grow stronger. You’re training yourself for all future challenges, building your resilience one encounter at a time. Playing through intimidation prepares you for the most intense levels of competition, where pressure is always conspiring against you in some form- an unruly crowd, a biased umpire, a hostile environment. Growth means leaving the match, win or lose, knowing you remained true to your values. That is the unshakeable foundation for life our FBTL program promises.
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