you've been choking
Video Box of You've Been Choking
Event: You've Been Choking
Frequency/Intensity/ Level of Concern
Emotions Triggered: Why is choking so intense? Because its traumatizing tennis to your identity and self-worth. This isn't a hobby, you're deeply invested in the sport numerous ways. The higher the stakes, the more your brain perceives threat, triggering all sorts of emotions, few of them empowering. Recognizing this is crucial because it helps explain why choking feels so overwhelming—and that a quick fix answer to alleviate choking won't be coming to save you anytime soon.
The Emotions That Arise
When you’ve been choking, the emotions are intense and layered:
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Fear of repeating the same mistakes.
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Shame at letting yourself or others down.
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Frustration at not playing to your ability.
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Doubt in your own competence.
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Hope that this time will be different.
Awareness
The first step is recognizing what’s really happening inside you. Choking is not about a lack of skill—you’ve trained, you’ve hit the shots, and you’ve earned the right to battle. What’s happening is that your emotional brain is hijacking your rational brain in key moments. Doubt, fear, and irrational pressure all compress into a heaviness upon yourself. Awareness means noticing the racing thoughts (“Don’t miss, don’t blow it”), the tightening in your chest, the shortened breath, and the seeming paralysis in your body and mind. When you can clearly name what’s going on—“I’m experiencing irrational fear of failure” rather than “I’m choking again”—you reclaim the first piece of control.
Regulation
Once you’ve noticed the emotions, the work shifts to managing it. Emotional regulation is your on-court safety net. Breathwork is your anchor: deep, rhythmic inhales and exhales to reset your nervous system. Rituals—like bouncing the ball a set number of times, play with your strings, or a cue word (“trust” or “accelerate”)—become your stabilizers under stress. Regulation doesn’t erase nerves, but it prevents them from spiraling into panic. The goal is to create a gap between the emotion and the reaction so you can perform with clarity rather than tension.
Perspective
Choking often comes from magnifying the moment—elevating a match result to feel like life or death. Perspective reminds you that each match is a single skirmish in a much larger battle. Shrinking the moment down to size frees you from the weight of catastrophizing. Instead of obsessing over unpleasant outcomes, focus on what you can control= movement, preparation, smart shot selection. Do what you do best. Perspective transforms natural unavoidable match pressure from a threat into an opportunity—another challenge to transcend with your vast skill set.
Growth
Each time you manage a choking set-up, big second serve on break point, and keep battling at or near your best levels, you continue to build resilience. Growth means reframing setbacks as feedback. Maybe you lost a lead because tension crept in—shake it off, you're human. That’s not failure, that’s data. With EQ, you log these experiences not as grounds for giving up but as lessons designed solely for your growth. Over time, the match situations you once dreaded become proving grounds for your developing emotional intelligence.
Video Box for cameo of pro player talking about choking
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