playing your nemesis

Video Box for Playing a nemesis

Event: Playing your nemesis, that one player who drives you nuts, pushes all your emotional buttons and you haven't been able to beat.

Frequency/Intensity/Level of Concern

 

Emotions Triggered

 Facing your nemesis often summons an array of emotions:

  • Fear of repeating past failures.

  • Frustration at falling into the same traps.

  • Anger at their behavior or your own inability to overcome them

  • Anxiety about the pressure of proving yourself in such a challenging match-up

  • Determination born from the rivalry’s intensity.

 



Awareness

Playing your nemesis is never just about making a plan and executing it. Its bigger than that. Awareness starts with recognizing the emotional charge this opponent carries for you. You may feel more tense before the warmup, your mind may run replaying old narratives: "Why can't I beat them??!! The first EQ step is acknowledging these emotions without judgment. Notice the tight chest, the racing thoughts, the flash of anger or dread. By bringing them into the light, you stop them from controlling you unconsciously.


Regulation

Once aware, the work shifts to regulation. Against your nemesis, emotions spike quickly—rage at their gamesmanship, anxiety from past losses, or fear of humiliation. Regulation means creating buffers in the heat of the match. Deep breaths between points, longer routines before serving, repeating affirmations and mantra that serve the moment. Rather than suppressing the surge, you learn to channel it. Emotional regulation doesn’t remove the intensity of your emotions; it ensures you burn steadilyy rather than lose control unexpectedly.


Perspective

Perspective transforms your nemesis from a villain into a teacher. Every time you face them, you’re handed a mirror reflecting not only the state of your game but your emotional soft spots. Lean in. Reframe the experience. Your nemesis will reveal what I most need to work on most.  Seen this way, your nemesis becomes a catalyst for growth rather than a recurring source of pain. A healthy perspective anchors you on and off the court no matter what the challenge.


Growth

Over time, playing your nemesis can forge resilience like little else in tennis. These encounters pressure you into developing new tools—both technical and emotional—that you wouldn’t otherwise refine. Each match becomes less about defeating them and more about challenging yourself. Hey, they may just be better. That doesn't mean we don't continue to learn and grow playing them. For growth isn’t linear—you may still lose, sometimes badly. But our EQ training turns these battles into a learning experience for perseverance, self-mastery, and hopefully that eventually breakthrough.



Video box of pro player playing nemesis

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